An Open Letter to Santa

Dear Santa Dude,

I was like thinking when was the last time you made regalo to me on Christmas time. And dude, I realized that it was like so long ago na, pare. It's like more than twenty freakin' years na kaya!

Kaya now, I'm like composing this wishlist of things I'd like to ask from you, Santa dude. You've got so many utang na to me ha. I'm really hoping and praying you won't disappoint me this year. I've been a real good boy all these years naman, daba? So, I think it's only fair na you give me some reward or whatever konswelo de bobo I deserve.

First on my list is a DSLR camera. Preferably Canon siguro since it's the brand I'm quite satisfied with. You know this digicam thingy that I am using right now? It's kinda jurassic na kaya. Can you please give me a DSLR camera with a complete set of lenses? Para when I'm like watching the UAAP games next year at courtside, di naman nakakahiya na point-and-shoot cam lang yung kini-click ko, 'no!

Secondly, can I ask for a new set of wheels? No, not the kotse type of wheels, Santa dude. I know medyo strained din naman ang budget mo with all these economic crisis shit that hit all of us. I'd like to hingi sana the recreational type of toys for the big boys. I have a barkada who's selling those ATV's kase. And I found out that they're so cool, pare. So kaka-aliw to use when I'm just like making gala here around the village. I can even make sagasa all those askals in the other street without worrying about falling down since four wheels nga sya, daba?

Next on my list are two new Technics 1210 turntables. You know, where you play those plaka thingies of the eighties? I have been contemplating on going old school kase with my DJ gig. Nothing beats the feel of vinyl, pare. And since humiling na rin ako sa 'yo ng turntables, why not throw in a brand new Behringer mixer kaya? Those would really be so uber-kewl during parties. As in!

And lastly, like the rest of the text-crazy, masang Pinoy, I'd like to ask for a brand new cellphone. So squatter my cellphone na kase. You know those new cellphone models coming out every week? I still think nothing compares to the Nokia 9500 I've been drooling over for the past few months. Eng-eng kasi yang si James eh. Sabi ko kasi sa kanya, I'll just buy the 9500 one of the Greenhills tenants gave to him as a gift. Tamaan ba naman ng delicadeza, the moron! Ayun, he chose to make soli the 9500. Sayang, I could have made him uto to sell it to me at a very cheap price. Sayang talaga! Obobs!

Yun na lang muna, Santa dude. Di naman siguro over yang hinihiling ko sa yo considering that you made me snob for more than two decades. Kaya mo yan, dude. I'll just wait for those gifts ha. And thanks in advance, pare.

Merry Christmas, Santa dude!

Hoping and Waiting,
Kulotski

PS: We don't have chimneys here in the Philippines. So there's no way you can slide down one if yun ang trip mo. DHL or Fedex mo na lang, dude. Mas easy pa.