Wanted: Asst. Team Manager

Job Opening

Position: Assistant Team Manager for the DLSU Green Archers

Requirements:

1.) Must pass a thorough psychological examination to ensure that he is not a gung-ho warfreak just lurking and waiting for a chance to start up a fight during collegiate basketball games.

2.) Must not be a sneaky bastard who would act as if he is a pacifist trying to stop an altercation between two players, only to hit the player from the opposing team from the back.

3.) Must not be a coward who immediately runs (almost entangling his legs in the process) after sneaking the cheapshot.

4.) Must be able to teach new dance steps to Ryan Arana.

5.) Must be able to improvise new trash-talking techniques to be taught to DLSU players as the old ones have not been effective in their psy-war against FEU.

6.) Must be emotionally ready for a loss during his first stint as Assistant Team Manager of DLSU as the FEU Tamaraws, led by a certain Arwind Santos, unleash its fury on a team whose string of victories got into their heads even before they win their “back-to-back” championships.

7.) A true La Sallian Gentleman who can bring class into the basketball organization of DLSU.

Interested applicants may just walk in before Game 2 of the FEU – DLSU Championship Series of the UAAP on Thursday, October 6 at the Big Dome. Wear green.

This is a very urgent requirement.